Dealing With Your Child’s Tantrums

Hitting. Screaming. Crying. Whining. Complaining.

Have you ever seen your child doing any of these? What did you do?

These are things a child does when having temper tantrums. Children can’t regulate their emotions very well, so they express it through actions. This is normal, especially for those aged 18 months until 4 years old.

When children have temper tantrums, it’s often because they don’t get what they want. They feel frustrated, or sometimes they are just avoiding an undesirable activity. A lot of them can’t express themselves or their needs through words. At the same time, they think that if they keep throwing a tantrum, they’re able to get their own way.

It’s essential that as parents, you know the strategies to handle this kind of situation. Here are some strategies you can look into and see what can work best with your child:

Don’ts

• Avoid reasoning with the child. Persuade and encourage them to see the errors in what they are doing. Be persistent in telling the child to do good.
• Remember, children tend to throw tantrums to get what they want. Never give in to them because this teaches that if they cry or complain, you will concede to whatever they ask you.

For example, if the child is avoiding tidying their toys after playing, never agree that you will do it. Instead, explain that if they don’t tidy up that they can’t play with their toys for a few days.

Do’s

• If the child started to cry or whine, just let them be. Let them have their moment. If they are likely to throw or kick things, be sure that you’re able to remove toys or objects. Make sure that they do not inflict pain upon themselves.

• Reinforce the child’s positive behaviour. If you give them positive feedback for being well behaved, they can easily distinguish the difference between acting acceptably or unacceptably. Positive reinforcement is an excellent way of showing right or wrong to a child.

• Timeout. When the child is starting to have a tantrum, tell them to have some timeout first. Put them in a place where they can be alone and let them be quiet for some time. If after a while they have calmed down, you can tell them, “Thank you for being quiet. Timeout is over. How do you feel now?.” Help the child to process their feelings thoroughly. If your child’s tantrum as a result of your discipline, explain to them why you needed them to listen to your instructions.

When your child is having their tantrum, it’s crucial that you are calm and can understand that it’s not your fault. As a parent, it’s easy to think that when a child expresses naughty behaviour, it’s because you didn’t do enough. That’s not true. There are many factors as to why a child does this. Handle it well and be patient.